Fear of Failure? Never again

You're waiting side stage, and the "what ifs" start creeping in. How do we stop the fear of failure from sabotaging our performance?

We have all been there. Fear of failure is, unfortunately, quite common. We have somehow managed to juggle the stress of adult life responsibilities with all the dancing classes and training, and yet there is this underlying feeling that it might not have been enough and that when we get to the competition we will fail. I have certainly been there on more occasions than I care to admit!

First things first, how do you determine success or failure? This is probably the most important question to ask yourself in order to get rid of this fear. There is no right or wrong answer here, your definition or success is completely up to you. Take a second now to think about that. What does success mean to you?

Visualise this image of success.

The word failure is usually thought of as the opposite of success, "If I didn't succeed it means I failed". I don't agree with that. While admittedly it is never pleasant not to reach a goal, if you didn't reach it today it doesn't mean you can't reach it tomorrow. If my goal at this particular feis was to make it to the top 5, and I came 6th... well that just means my journey isn't over and I get to try again.

Go back to your visialisation of success. What does it feel like to see yourself being successful? Probably a lot better than the side stage nerves and anxiety. The whole thought process of "if I don't reach my goal today I can reach it tomorrow" might be a little too demanding when you are preparing to go onstage though, especially when there are all these other factors around you that might be causing you stress. So we are going to focus on the image of success and the feeling of achievement. Think of something you are really good at, it does not have to be dancing related. Do you make the best rice in the family? Great! Are you the only one that can get the cat to take its medicine? That's real talent! Your subconscious mind doesn't really care where the feeling of achievement is coming from, it just wants to feel safe and capable. Give it what it wants! You are reassuring yourself that you are capable of doing your best on the stage. So when you start feeling like things will go south, just remember you have done all the work and you are more than able of enjoying your performance.

Failure is a flawed word, it is not black or white, and neither is dancing. Saying you failed does not take into consideration everything around you. Don't forget you are more than a result at a feis, and that you are more capable than you think you are. Enjoy every step!

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